hyakinthos54

Answer using only two words.

1. Yourself: fully energized!

2. Your boyfriend: not yet. D:

3. Your hair?: messed up.

4. Your mother: Bible study (B.S.) lol

5. Your Father: Whuh? huh?

6. Your Favorite Material Item: good books.

7. Your dream last night: adventure, crush

8. Your Favorite drink: white cranberryjuice

9. Your Dream Car: works, fast

10. The Room You Are In: my bedroom.

11. Your Ex: not yet.

12. Your fear? many worms.

13. Where do you want to be in 10 years? happy, family.

14. Who you hung out with last night? andrea, mom.

15. What You're Not: fit, girl.

16. Your Best Friend: a few

17. One of Your Wish List Items: many books.

18. Your plans for today?: kayla, meaghan XD

19. The Last Thing You Did: ravioli, exercised

20. What You Are Wearing: pants, shirt

21. Your Favorite Weather: warm, breezy

22. Your Favorite Book: the alchemist

23. The Last Thing You ate: cheese ravioli

24. Your Life: cruisin' along

25. Your Mood: excited, happy

26. Your body: in progress.

27. What are you thinking about right now: crush, songs

28. Your Crush: a boy

29. What are you doing at the moment: stupid question.

30. Your summer schedule: work, transformation

Animal totems are a very big part of my spirituality. I believe that every person has at least one animal helper and whether or not they decide to work with them or even acknowledge their existence is up to them. It's not necessary to even know what your totem is for it to guide you, but I have found it to be very rewarding to honor them and communicate with them.
I found my primary totem, the Cougar (or Mountain Lion, Puma, Catamount, or whatever else you will), while reading a meditation for that purpose in the book Animal Speak, by Ted Andrews. I had some doubt at first, as when I went into the meditation I was expecting it to be a cougar. The book instructed to let go any preconceived notions at the beginning, and I obviously did not do so. It also said that after doing the meditation, you should receive some sort of confirmation that it is, in fact, your totem.
Later that day, I was tooling around on my computer and happened upon google images. The thought of the meditation crossed my mind, and I typed in "north american mammals" for shits and giggles. I closed my eyes and pressed "search," with the intent of opening them to a single image. I  did so, and that image was of the cougar. Now, bear in mind (no pun intended) that there are hundreds of species of mammals that live in North America, and the fact that there was a cougar in the first eight images (as the rest did not show without me scrolling down) is quite impressive in my eyes. It doesn't end there!
After this curious development, I decided to search for images of cougars. I scrolled to the bottom of the page, where a single image caught my eye. I clicked on it and it brought me to a website specifically about totems. I read its description, and it fit well with the things I need to learn in this life, and that was all the evidence I needed. I've since developed a relationship with her, and often picture her walking by my side. It helps to know that I have such a powerful creature to teach and protect me, but I also recognize other totems that have flitted in and out of my life.
The Rabbit, for instance, has been in my life since the beginning of my freshman year of college. I get the feeling that it will only be a major influence through my college years, but I recognize its importance to me now nonetheless. The Snake, the Turtle, the Elk, and the Dolphin have also been influences, and I thank them all for the lessons they teach me. How long they will stay with me is not within my foresight, but I know that they have their place in my life and they will make their mark in the end for the better.

I know what you're thinking: "Great topic to have as your first post, Ben!" But the thought of mortality has been plaguing me today, so what better way to organize such thoughts than to write them down?
I was on my way home from a Pagan festival in New York today, and it suddenly occurred to me just how fleeting life is. At any moment, I could be killed instantly in an endless number of ways, and yet I have managed to survive eighteen-and-a-half years. Just sitting here on my bed, typing, I can think of at least ten ways that I could keel over without doing anything remotely dangerous, not to mention the countless things that could have gone wrong on my way home.
In thinking about this, I've realized just how precious every moment is. I've always known that my time will come when I'm ready, and while I doubt that's any time soon, I've come to accept the fact that it could be any time, whether sooner or later. I have this one life to work with until the next, and I'm damn well gonna live it fully!
There are so many things that I've started and not finished or want to do; writing my book, learning various languages, traveling, start exercising again, get into better meditation habits, and help change the world for the better. In thinking about death, I am forced to think about life and it's unpredictable nature. I may die tomorrow afternoon, but I'll make sure I have an enjoyable and fulfilling morning. Or I may die fifty or eighty years from now, but until then, I will try to do as much as humanly possible to feel that this life has had some purpose.
I suppose that's all for now, but I urge you to live, laugh, and love, and not to sweat the little things that are bringing you down. Life is not about just wishing for exciting experiences or complaining about the things you don't like; it's about loving where you are and what you're doing and who you're with. Make use of the moments you have in whatever way is appropriate, but please, please enjoy life no matter what.
-Ben